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Hjemme i København | I Lundtoftegade…På Stjernen

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Faktisk er det sådan, at jeg voksede op alene med min mor på Nørrebro. Og da jeg var seks til, jeg blev otte, boede jeg ovre på Lundtoftegade, som er socialt boligbyggeri. Der med de høje huse i det heftige område der.

Min mor følte, hun havde fået et slot.
Vi kom fra en 2-værelses på Nørrebro med kakkelovn og petroleum, vi skulle hente.
Så fik vi en 3-værelses, og jeg fik mit eget værelse, og det, kan jeg godt huske, var noget stort for mig.
Jeg tænkte ikke dengang over, at det måske var et hårdt kvarter, og min mor syntes det slet ikke.
Indtil hun mødte denne mand, der synes, at det var dog et skrækkeligt sted at bo, og vi flytter så til Farum, og det er helt modsat. Jeg får en stedfar, der er godt ved muffen, et hus, hvor der er masser af plads tæt på søen. Og det er et kæmpe skift.
Og jeg får et helt andet liv lige pludselig. Fra ghetto til den der villa… vovse… ting i Farum. Og får nogle nye kammerater, som er nogle helt anden type børn end dem, jeg var vant til med nogle helt andre forældre. Og det præger mit liv rigtig meget.
Og jeg har svoret hele min opvækst, at jeg aldrig skulle bo i et socialt boligbyggeri.
Så derfor var det også alarmerende skrækkeligt for mig, da jeg blev skilt, at det var min mulighed. Jeg tænkte FUCK, det er sgu rigtigt, det, de siger, med den her sociale arv.
Jeg ender fandme med at bo et sted, jeg har frygtet hele mit liv. Det har været mit mareridt at bo et sted, som minder om Lundtoftegade.
Og derfor er det pgs så rart at opdage, at det på mange måder er virkelig rart at bo her. Der er også nogle af de billeder, jeg har haft, der stemmer overens med forventninger og de forestillinger, jeg har haft. Men der er bestemt også meget, der er modsat, så det er faktisk sådan, at i dag er jeg i tvivl om, om jeg vil flytte.
Da jeg flyttede ind, var jeg sikker på at ville flytte, hvis jeg fik chancen, men det tror jeg ikke nu. Jeg har fået nogle rigtig gode venner her, og min datter har mange at lege med, så mange af mine bange anelser er gjort til skamme.
Det er meget interessant.
Det var heller ikke slemt for mig at bo i Lundtoftegade, men da jeg skiftede, så kom jeg til alle dem, der jo ikke kendte til det, og alle syntes, at det var noget skidt at bo et sådant sted, så jeg holdt det hemmeligt, at jeg havde boet et sådant sted.
Den fornemmelse, at det var noget skidt at bo et sådant sted, den har præget hele mit liv, og også nu da jeg er blevet voksen, syntes jeg, det var pinligt at flytte ind her, at jeg ikke kunne gøre det bedre. Det var skamfuldt på en eller anden måde.
Det synes jeg heldigvis ikke mere.
Jeg har boet her nu i 3-4 år.
Det er en fed lejlighed, med en dejlig altan, og gode naboer. Det er faktisk det mest stille sted, jeg nogensinde har boet. Her er så roligt, hvilket er dejligt, for jeg hader larm.
Jeg kan huske flere ting, der har sat sig fra Lundtoftegade.
Jeg kan huske, der var sådan nogle, man kaldte rockere… Og de stod nede foran vores opgang. Store mænd med skæg og tatoveringer, og dem var jeg rigtig bange for, indtil en dag hvor de spurgte min mor, om de skulle hjælpe hende op med indkøbsposerne. Og så var de pludslelig ikke så skræmmende mere.
En anden historie, hvis jeg må fortælle den? Min mor havde en kæreste, der kom hos hende, og jeg havde en veninde, der boede lidt længere nede, og en dag da jeg kom ned og spurgte, om hun kunne lege, så var det simpelthen min mors kæreste, der åbnede døren.
Ja, der stod han på den anden side af døren… Han var blevet kæreste med min venindes mor!
Så jeg gik straks op til min mor og sagde, at nede hos Susy, der var Ole!
Men det tog hun meget pænt, de var måske ikke så tæt.

 

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