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Hjemme i København | MELANKOLI–RUTEN hvis da ikke endda: PARANOIA PASSAGEN!

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Det er turen fra min lejlighed i Baldersgade op i Hundelortsparken og tilbage igen.
Jeg gik rundt på Nørrebro og havde det skidt. Jeg var trist, nærmest deprimeret og hørte stemmer inde i hovedet. I dag kan det faktisk være jeg havde fået en diagnose. Nørrebro passede alt for godt til hvordan jeg havde det: sumpede værtshuse, butikker med tung og dårlig mad, hundelorte over det hele. Jeg kan huske at man i Schou-Epa(hed den ikke det?) kunne købe biksemad med et færdigt koldt spejlæg oveni. Sådan var Nørrebro i 80erne.
Jeg fantaserede om hvordan det ville være at have sex med pigen i slagterforretningen, om hun mon lugtede af kød, og om det ville være ophidsende eller det modsatte? Jeg var i det hele taget ret optaget af sex. Ved siden af min opgang lå Candy-film hvor de lavede pornofilm. Det gik nok ikke særlig godt. En tegning af en nøgen pige hang på facaden, sådan lidt i stil med tegningerne i Poeten og Lillemor. Jeg tror filmstudiet havde haft sin storhedstid i 70’erne. I det hele taget, lod det til, at alt på Nørrebro havde haft sin storhedstid for længe siden. I huset overfor mit boede et par der havde sex i vindueskarmen. Og i et hus længere nede boede BZerne. De holdt vilde fester og larmede. Jeg var tiltrukket og frastødt af dem. Jeg turde ikke gå derind. Jeg havde forkert tøj. Jeg havde slet ikke noget sort tøj.
I lejligheden ved siden af mig boede en frisør-elev der hørte den samme plade med Whitney Houston hele tiden: I will allways love you. Jeg havde voldsfantasier om hendes musikanlæg, hvordan jeg smed højtalerne ud af vinduet eller rev pickuppen ud med en pincet. Nede under boede fru Gren. Hun klagede over mig. Hun sagde at jeg gik rundt som en elefant. Hun stod på lur i opgangen, når jeg kom hjem, og så brokkede hun sig. Eller også sagde hun: hørte De den larm i går aftes? Hun fortalt om hende der havde boet i lejligheden før mig. Jeg tror hun hed Susi. Hun var luuuuder, sagde fru Gren, med meget langt u. Der var et rend af mænd deroppe. Det eneste jeg vidste om Susi var at hun havde malet alt træværket i pink og sort. Det var et helvede at male over. Jeg malede selv badeværelset grønt.
Sammenlignet med dengang er Nørrebro et paradis. Alle slags mennesker bor her. Dengang var vi kun en bunke tabere. Gamle tabere og unge tabere. Ensomme, fordrukne og triste mennesker der kiggede ned i fortovet. Sådan så jeg det, når jeg gik tur i Paranoia Passagen.

GG - Foto 47

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